Why do we react the way we do? Why do certain patterns seem impossible to break? The answers often lie in our core beliefs -- the deeply rooted assumptions we carry about ourselves and the world. Though often unconscious, core beliefs can influence everything from our relationships to our career choices. In this blog post, we’ll dive into what core beliefs are, where they come from, how they impact us, and how EMDR can help to transform limiting beliefs into a healthier, more positive mindset.
What is a core belief?
Core beliefs are the deeply held and often unconscious ideas that we have about ourselves, others, and the world. They are often formed early in life and become so ingrained in us that they feel like unchangeable truths. They are the lens through which we see the world, and as such they shape how we perceive and interact with everything around us.
Core beliefs can be positive, like "I am worthy of love," or negative, like "I am not good enough." While positive core beliefs empower us, negative ones can hold us back, causing emotional distress, self-doubt, and self-sabotage.
Common Negative Core Beliefs
Negative core beliefs typically fall into one of the following categories:
Self-Worth:
"I am not good enough."
"I am unlovable"
"I am unworthy of love or respect."
"I am a failure."
Competence:
"I am incapable."
"I can't do anything right."
"I will never succeed."
Responsibility:
"I am responsible for everything."
Safety and Existence:
"I am not safe."
"I can’t trust anyone."
"It's not safe to be me (authentic)."
"My needs don't matter."
Control and Power:
"I am powerless."
"I have no control over my life."
Where do core beliefs come from?
Core beliefs are typically formed in early childhood. As children, we absorb messages from our environment and from our interpersonal or familial interactions. These messages go on to shape our understanding of ourselves, others, and the world.
For example, a child that grows up in a home where they hear constant criticism from caregivers might develop negative core beliefs surrounding their self-worth ("I'm not good enough") or safety ("it's not safe to be authentically me"). Conversely, a child that grows up in a home where positive reinforcement and emotional support are consistent will likely develop positive core beliefs surrounding their self-worth ("I am important and valuable") and safety ("I am okay as I am").
Although these core beliefs are often formed unconsciously, they can continue to shape how we see the world as adults, leading us to believe that these beliefs are unchangeable, when in fact they are not.
How do core beliefs shape our worldview?
Core beliefs shape everything that we experience. They influence how we interpret events, how we interact with others, and how we respond to challenges.
Interpret events: Let’s say you have internalized the core belief that you are "not good enough." Now imagine that you're an investment banker and that a deal that you're working on falls through. You might automatically assume it’s because you're inadequate or incapable, overlooking the fact that your job that is extremely competitive and that you recently received a positive performance review and a bonus. Your core belief disregards these facts. Instead, it tells you the deal fell through because you are not good enough, entirely ignoring external factors like changes to the economic environment that may better explain why the deal fell through.
Interact with others: Building on the previous example, an internalized core belief that you are "not good enough," can also impact the way that you relate and interact with your co-workers. For example, imagine that a colleague offers you a suggestion to improve a presentation that you're putting together. You might automatically assume it’s because your co-worker thinks that you are inadequate, even if the feedback was meant to be constructive. This can lead to defensiveness, withdrawal, or self-doubt, which makes it harder to build authentic connections or receive help when needed.
Respond to challenges: Core beliefs can also influence how we respond to challenges. So again, if you believe that you are "not good enough," you may avoid taking on new responsibilities or pursuing opportunities because you fear failure and rejection. This negative core belief can cause you to give up more easily, whereas someone who has internalized more positive core beliefs about themself might feel more comfortable taking on challenges and exercising resilience. This is because the way that we perceive and respond to obstacles is largely shaped by our underlying beliefs about ourselves.
Negative core beliefs often create a self-fulfilling prophecy, where the belief itself drives behaviors that ultimately reinforce the very thought patterns that we fear. However, when we cultivate positive core beliefs, we unlock new possibilities. Our worldview shifts from one of limitation to one of opportunity, and we are more likely to embrace life’s challenges as chances for growth rather than threats to our self-worth. Therapy can be a powerful tool in this process.
Does trauma play a role in developing core beliefs?
Yes, trauma can play a significant role in the development of negative core beliefs. When we experience trauma, particularly in childhood, it can profoundly affect how we view ourselves and the world.
For instance, a child who experiences neglect may internalize the belief that they are "unlovable" or "not worth caring about." Similarly, a person who experiences abuse might develop core beliefs like "I am powerless" or "I can’t trust anyone."
Trauma-related core beliefs can be so deeply ingrained in you that they become a part of your identity. These beliefs might feel so central to your sense of self that changing them might seem like an impossible feat. In cases like this, therapies like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can be particularly helpful. EMDR is designed to help target and process traumatic memories, allowing for healing and transformation.
How to identify core beliefs?
Identifying core beliefs can be challenging because they are often unconscious. However, there are a few strategies you can use to bring them to light:
Pay attention to your self-talk: Notice the thoughts that pop up in your mind, especially during stressful situations. If you catch yourself thinking things like "I'm not good enough" or "I’ll never succeed," these may be clues to a deeper core belief.
Observe your emotional reactions: Take note of your emotional reactions to events or interactions with others. If you consistently feel inadequate, rejected, or powerless, this may be a reflection of your core beliefs about yourself.
Look for patterns in your relationships: Negative core beliefs often influence how we relate to others. For example, someone with a belief that they are unworthy of love might push people away or settle for unhealthy relationships. Recognizing these patterns can help you identify underlying core beliefs.
Journal: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can reveal recurring themes. Look for patterns that point to your core beliefs, such as "I don’t deserve happiness" or "I’m not capable."
Talk to a therapist: A trained therapist can help you identify your core beliefs and explore where they came from. Therapy is a safe space where you can work through these beliefs and begin the process of changing them.
Does EMDR help change negative core beliefs?
Yes, EMDR can be incredibly helpful for changing negative core beliefs. EMDR is a type of therapy that uses bilateral stimulation (like eye movements or tapping) to help the brain reprocess traumatic memories and distressing experiences. By reprocessing these memories, EMDR can help to reduce the emotional charge tied to traumatic or distressing events, ultimately leading to the transformation of negative core beliefs into more positive, adaptive ones.
How does EMDR change core beliefs?
EMDR works by helping you to process past memories or experiences that have contributed to the formation of negative core beliefs. Here’s how it helps:
Reprocessing traumatic memories: Through EMDR, you can safely revisit traumatic memories or experiences that formed your negative beliefs. The bilateral stimulation helps to process these memories in a way that reduces their emotional intensity.
Reframing negative beliefs: As you reprocess these memories, you’ll be guided to explore alternative, more positive beliefs. For example, if you’ve always believed "I am unlovable," EMDR can help you reframe that belief to something healthier, like "I am deserving of love."
Integrating new beliefs: Once the traumatic memories and their associated beliefs have been reprocessed, you can begin to integrate new, more empowering beliefs about yourself. This shift can lead to lasting changes in your self-esteem, relationships, and overall well-being.
Final Thoughts
Core beliefs shape how we experience the world and ourselves. While negative core beliefs can be deeply ingrained, they are not permanent. With the right tools, like EMDR, you can challenge and change those beliefs, paving the way for a healthier, more empowered life.
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NYC EMDR Therapy
If you’re struggling with negative core beliefs, don't hesitate to reach out. I'm a NYC-based EMDR-trained therapist, and I offer online EMDR therapy for individuals located in New York. Together we can explore your negative core beliefs and begin the work of transforming them.
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